TPTT As You Like It: ACT I
Introduction
ACT I
SCENE I. Orchard of Oliver's house.
SCENE II. Lawn before the Duke's palace.
SCENE III. A room in the palace.
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE I. Orchard of Oliver's house.
Enter ORLANDO and ADAM
ORLANDO
      As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion
      bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns,
      and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on his
      blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my
5     sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and
      report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part,
      he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more
      properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you
      that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that
10    differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses
      are bred better; for, besides that they are fair
      with their feeding, they are taught their manage,
      and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, his
      brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the
15    which his animals on his dunghills are as much
      bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so
      plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave
      me his countenance seems to take from me: he lets
      me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a
20    brother, and, as much as in him lies, mines my
      gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that
      grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I
      think is within me, begins to mutiny against this
      servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I
25    know no wise remedy how to avoid it.
ADAM
      Yonder comes my master, your brother.
ORLANDO
      Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will
      shake me up.
Enter OLIVER
OLIVER
      Now, sir! what make you here?
ORLANDO
30    Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.
OLIVER
      What mar you then, sir?
ORLANDO
      Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God
      made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.
OLIVER
      Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.
ORLANDO
35    Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?
      What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should
      come to such penury?
OLIVER
      Know you where your are, sir?
ORLANDO
      O, sir, very well; here in your orchard.
OLIVER
40    Know you before whom, sir?
ORLANDO
      Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know
      you are my eldest brother; and, in the gentle
      condition of blood, you should so know me. The
      courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that
45    you are the first-born; but the same tradition
      takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers
      betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as
      you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is
      nearer to his reverence.
OLIVER
50    What, boy!
ORLANDO
      Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
OLIVER
      Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
ORLANDO
      I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir
      Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thrice
55    a villain that says such a father begot villains.
      Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand
      from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy
      tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself.
ADAM
      Sweet masters, be patient: for your father's
60    remembrance, be at accord.
OLIVER
      Let me go, I say.
ORLANDO
      I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My
      father charged you in his will to give me good
      education: you have trained me like a peasant,
65    obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like
      qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in
      me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow
      me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or
      give me the poor allottery my father left me by
70    testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes.
OLIVER
      And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent?
      Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled
      with you; you shall have some part of your will: I
      pray you, leave me.
ORLANDO
75    I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.
OLIVER
      Get you with him, you old dog.
ADAM
      Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my
      teeth in your service. God be with my old master!
      he would not have spoke such a word.
Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM
OLIVER
80    Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will
      physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand
      crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!
Enter DENNIS
DENNIS
      Calls your worship?
OLIVER
      Was not Charles, the duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?
DENNIS
85    So please you, he is here at the door and importunes
      access to you.
OLIVER
      Call him in.

Exit DENNIS

      'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.
Enter CHARLES
CHARLES
      Good morrow to your worship.
OLIVER
90    Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the
      new court?
CHARLES
      There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news:
      that is, the old duke is banished by his younger
      brother the new duke; and three or four loving lords
95    have put themselves into voluntary exile with him,
      whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke;
      therefore he gives them good leave to wander.
OLIVER
      Can you tell if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, be
      banished with her father?
CHARLES
100   O, no; for the duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves
      her, being ever from their cradles bred together,
      that she would have followed her exile, or have died
      to stay behind her. She is at the court, and no
      less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and
105   never two ladies loved as they do.
OLIVER
      Where will the old duke live?
CHARLES
      They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and
      a many merry men with him; and there they live like
      the old Robin Hood of England: they say many young
110   gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time
      carelessly, as they did in the golden world.
OLIVER
      What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new duke?
CHARLES
      Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a
      matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand
115   that your younger brother Orlando hath a disposition
      to come in disguised against me to try a fall.
      To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he that
      escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him
      well. Your brother is but young and tender; and,
120   for your love, I would be loath to foil him, as I
      must, for my own honour, if he come in: therefore,
      out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you
      withal, that either you might stay him from his
      intendment or brook such disgrace well as he shall
125   run into, in that it is a thing of his own search
      and altogether against my will.
OLIVER
      Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which
      thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had
      myself notice of my brother's purpose herein and
130   have by underhand means laboured to dissuade him from
      it, but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles:
      it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full
      of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's
      good parts, a secret and villanous contriver against
135   me his natural brother: therefore use thy
      discretion; I had as lief thou didst break his neck
      as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if
      thou dost him any slight disgrace or if he do not
      mightily grace himself on thee, he will practise
140   against thee by poison, entrap thee by some
      treacherous device and never leave thee till he
      hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other;
      for, I assure thee, and almost with tears I speak
      it, there is not one so young and so villanous this
145   day living. I speak but brotherly of him; but
      should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must
      blush and weep and thou must look pale and wonder.
CHARLES
      I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come
      to-morrow, I'll give him his payment: if ever he go
150   alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more: and
      so God keep your worship!
OLIVER
      Farewell, good Charles.

Exit CHARLES

      Now will I stir this gamester: I hope I shall see
      an end of him; for my soul, yet I know not why,
155   hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle, never
      schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of
      all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much
      in the heart of the world, and especially of my own
      people, who best know him, that I am altogether
160   misprised: but it shall not be so long; this
      wrestler shall clear all: nothing remains but that
      I kindle the boy thither; which now I'll go about.
Exit
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