TPTT As You Like It: ACT I
Introduction
ACT I
SCENE I. Orchard of Oliver's house.
SCENE II. Lawn before the Duke's palace.
SCENE III. A room in the palace.
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE III. A room in the palace.
Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
CELIA
      Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy! not a word?
ROSALIND
      Not one to throw at a dog.
CELIA
      No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon
      curs; throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons.
ROSALIND
5     Then there were two cousins laid up; when the one
      should be lamed with reasons and the other mad
      without any.
CELIA
      But is all this for your father?
ROSALIND
      No, some of it is for my child's father. O, how
10    full of briers is this working-day world!
CELIA
      They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in
      holiday foolery: if we walk not in the trodden
      paths our very petticoats will catch them.
ROSALIND
      I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my heart.
CELIA
15    Hem them away.
ROSALIND
      I would try, if I could cry 'hem' and have him.
CELIA
      Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.
ROSALIND
      O, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself!
CELIA
      O, a good wish upon you! you will try in time, in
20    despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of
      service, let us talk in good earnest: is it
      possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so
      strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son?
ROSALIND
      The duke my father loved his father dearly.
CELIA
25    Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son
      dearly? By this kind of chase, I should hate him,
      for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate
      not Orlando.
ROSALIND
      No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.
CELIA
30    Why should I not? doth he not deserve well?
ROSALIND
      Let me love him for that, and do you love him
      because I do. Look, here comes the duke.
CELIA
      With his eyes full of anger.
Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with Lords
DUKE FREDERICK
      Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste
35    And get you from our court.
ROSALIND
      Me, uncle?
DUKE FREDERICK
      You, cousin
      Within these ten days if that thou be'st found
      So near our public court as twenty miles,
40    Thou diest for it.
ROSALIND
      I do beseech your grace,
      Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me:
      If with myself I hold intelligence
      Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,
45    If that I do not dream or be not frantic,--
      As I do trust I am not--then, dear uncle,
      Never so much as in a thought unborn
      Did I offend your highness.
DUKE FREDERICK
      Thus do all traitors:
50    If their purgation did consist in words,
      They are as innocent as grace itself:
      Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.
ROSALIND
      Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor:
      Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.
DUKE FREDERICK
55    Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough.
ROSALIND
      So was I when your highness took his dukedom;
      So was I when your highness banish'd him:
      Treason is not inherited, my lord;
      Or, if we did derive it from our friends,
60    What's that to me? my father was no traitor:
      Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much
      To think my poverty is treacherous.
CELIA
      Dear sovereign, hear me speak.
DUKE FREDERICK
      Ay, Celia; we stay'd her for your sake,
65    Else had she with her father ranged along.
CELIA
      I did not then entreat to have her stay;
      It was your pleasure and your own remorse:
      I was too young that time to value her;
      But now I know her: if she be a traitor,
70    Why so am I; we still have slept together,
      Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, eat together,
      And wheresoever we went, like Juno's swans,
      Still we went coupled and inseparable.
DUKE FREDERICK
      She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,
75    Her very silence and her patience
      Speak to the people, and they pity her.
      Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy name;
      And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous
      When she is gone. Then open not thy lips:
80    Firm and irrevocable is my doom
      Which I have pass'd upon her; she is banish'd.
CELIA
      Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:
      I cannot live out of her company.
DUKE FREDERICK
      You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself:
85    If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,
      And in the greatness of my word, you die.
Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK and Lords
CELIA
      O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?
      Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.
      I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.
ROSALIND
90    I have more cause.
CELIA
      Thou hast not, cousin;
      Prithee be cheerful: know'st thou not, the duke
      Hath banish'd me, his daughter?
ROSALIND
      That he hath not.
CELIA
95    No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love
      Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one:
      Shall we be sunder'd? shall we part, sweet girl?
      No: let my father seek another heir.
      Therefore devise with me how we may fly,
100   Whither to go and what to bear with us;
      And do not seek to take your change upon you,
      To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out;
      For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
      Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee.
ROSALIND
105   Why, whither shall we go?
CELIA
      To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden.
ROSALIND
      Alas, what danger will it be to us,
      Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!
      Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.
CELIA
110   I'll put myself in poor and mean attire
      And with a kind of umber smirch my face;
      The like do you: so shall we pass along
      And never stir assailants.
ROSALIND
      Were it not better,
115   Because that I am more than common tall,
      That I did suit me all points like a man?
      A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh,
      A boar-spear in my hand; and--in my heart
      Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will--
120   We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,
      As many other mannish cowards have
      That do outface it with their semblances.
CELIA
      What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
ROSALIND
      I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page;
125   And therefore look you call me Ganymede.
      But what will you be call'd?
CELIA
      Something that hath a reference to my state
      No longer Celia, but Aliena.
ROSALIND
      But, cousin, what if we assay'd to steal
130   The clownish fool out of your father's court?
      Would he not be a comfort to our travel?
CELIA
      He'll go along o'er the wide world with me;
      Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away,
      And get our jewels and our wealth together,
135   Devise the fittest time and safest way
      To hide us from pursuit that will be made
      After my flight. Now go we in content
      To liberty and not to banishment.
Exeunt
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