As You Like It: ACT IV
Introduction ACT I ACT II ACT III ACT IV SCENE I. The forest. SCENE II. The forest. SCENE III. The forest. ACT V About the Play Feedback			Search: All the plays Hamlet Coriolanus Julius Caesar King Lear Macbeth Othello Romeo and Juliet Richard II Richard III Titus Andronicus Antony and Cleopatra Timon of Athens Henry IV Part 1 Henry IV Part 2 Henry the Fifth Henry VI Part 1 Henry VI Part 2 Henry VI Part 3 Henry VIII King John Pericles Troilus and Cressida All's Well... As You Like It The Comedy of Errors Cymbeline A Midsummer... Love's Labour's Lost Measure for Measure The Merry Wives... Much Ado about Nothing The Merchant of Venice Twelfth Night The Taming of... The Tempest The Two Gentlemen... The Winter's Tale    for: SCENE I. The forest. Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and JAQUES JAQUES       I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted       with thee. ROSALIND       They say you are a melancholy fellow. JAQUES       I am so; I do love it better than laughing. ROSALIND 5     Those that are in extremity of either are abominable       fellows and betray themselves to every modern       censure worse than drunkards. JAQUES       Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing. ROSALIND       Why then, 'tis good to be a post. JAQUES 10    I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is       emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical,       nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the       soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's,       which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor 15    the lover's, which is all these: but it is a       melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples,       extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry's       contemplation of my travels, in which my often       rumination wraps me m a most humorous sadness. ROSALIND 20    A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason to       be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands to see       other men's; then, to have seen much and to have       nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands. JAQUES       Yes, I have gained my experience. ROSALIND 25    And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have       a fool to make me merry than experience to make me       sad; and to travel for it too! Enter ORLANDO ORLANDO       Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind! JAQUES       Nay, then, God be wi' you, an you talk in blank verse. Exit ROSALIND 30    Farewell, Monsieur Traveller: look you lisp and       wear strange suits, disable all the benefits of your       own country, be out of love with your nativity and       almost chide God for making you that countenance you       are, or I will scarce think you have swam in a 35    gondola. Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been       all this while? You a lover! An you serve me such       another trick, never come in my sight more. ORLANDO       My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise. ROSALIND       Break an hour's promise in love! He that will 40    divide a minute into a thousand parts and break but       a part of the thousandth part of a minute in the       affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid       hath clapped him o' the shoulder, but I'll warrant       him heart-whole. ORLANDO 45    Pardon me, dear Rosalind. ROSALIND       Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight: I       had as lief be wooed of a snail. ORLANDO       Of a snail? ROSALIND       Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he 50    carries his house on his head; a better jointure,       I think, than you make a woman: besides he brings       his destiny with him. ORLANDO       What's that? ROSALIND       Why, horns, which such as you are fain to be 55    beholding to your wives for: but he comes armed in       his fortune and prevents the slander of his wife. ORLANDO       Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous. ROSALIND       And I am your Rosalind. CELIA       It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a 60    Rosalind of a better leer than you. ROSALIND       Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday       humour and like enough to consent. What would you       say to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind? ORLANDO       I would kiss before I spoke. ROSALIND 65    Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were       gravelled for lack of matter, you might take       occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are       out, they will spit; and for lovers lacking--God       warn us!--matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss. ORLANDO 70    How if the kiss be denied? ROSALIND       Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter. ORLANDO       Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress? ROSALIND       Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress, or       I should think my honesty ranker than my wit. ORLANDO 75    What, of my suit? ROSALIND       Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit.       Am not I your Rosalind? ORLANDO       I take some joy to say you are, because I would be       talking of her. ROSALIND 80    Well in her person I say I will not have you. ORLANDO       Then in mine own person I die. ROSALIND       No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is       almost six thousand years old, and in all this time       there was not any man died in his own person, 85    videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains       dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he       could to die before, and he is one of the patterns       of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair       year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been 90    for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went       but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and being       taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish       coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.'       But these are all lies: men have died from time to 95    time and worms have eaten them, but not for love. ORLANDO       I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind,       for, I protest, her frown might kill me. ROSALIND       By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now       I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on 100   disposition, and ask me what you will. I will grant       it. ORLANDO       Then love me, Rosalind. ROSALIND       Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all. ORLANDO       And wilt thou have me? ROSALIND 105   Ay, and twenty such. ORLANDO       What sayest thou? ROSALIND       Are you not good? ORLANDO       I hope so. ROSALIND       Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing? 110   Come, sister, you shall be the priest and marry us.       Give me your hand, Orlando. What do you say, sister? ORLANDO       Pray thee, marry us. CELIA       I cannot say the words. ROSALIND       You must begin, 'Will you, Orlando--' CELIA 115   Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind? ORLANDO       I will. ROSALIND       Ay, but when? ORLANDO       Why now; as fast as she can marry us. ROSALIND       Then you must say 'I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.' ORLANDO 120   I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. ROSALIND       I might ask you for your commission; but I do take       thee, Orlando, for my husband: there's a girl goes       before the priest; and certainly a woman's thought       runs before her actions. ORLANDO 125   So do all thoughts; they are winged. ROSALIND       Now tell me how long you would have her after you       have possessed her. ORLANDO       For ever and a day. ROSALIND       Say 'a day,' without the 'ever.' No, no, Orlando; 130   men are April when they woo, December when they wed:       maids are May when they are maids, but the sky       changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous       of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen,       more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more 135   new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires       than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana       in the fountain, and I will do that when you are       disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and       that when thou art inclined to sleep. ORLANDO 140   But will my Rosalind do so? ROSALIND       By my life, she will do as I do. ORLANDO       O, but she is wise. ROSALIND       Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the       wiser, the waywarder: make the doors upon a woman's 145   wit and it will out at the casement; shut that and       'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill fly       with the smoke out at the chimney. ORLANDO       A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say       'Wit, whither wilt?' ROSALIND 150   Nay, you might keep that cheque for it till you met       your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed. ORLANDO       And what wit could wit have to excuse that? ROSALIND       Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall       never take her without her answer, unless you take 155   her without her tongue. O, that woman that cannot       make her fault her husband's occasion, let her       never nurse her child herself, for she will breed       it like a fool! ORLANDO       For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. ROSALIND 160   Alas! dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. ORLANDO       I must attend the duke at dinner: by two o'clock I       will be with thee again. ROSALIND       Ay, go your ways, go your ways; I knew what you       would prove: my friends told me as much, and I 165   thought no less: that flattering tongue of yours       won me: 'tis but one cast away, and so, come,       death! Two o'clock is your hour? ORLANDO       Ay, sweet Rosalind. ROSALIND       By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend 170   me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous,       if you break one jot of your promise or come one       minute behind your hour, I will think you the most       pathetical break-promise and the most hollow lover       and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind that 175   may be chosen out of the gross band of the       unfaithful: therefore beware my censure and keep       your promise. ORLANDO       With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my       Rosalind: so adieu. ROSALIND 180   Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such       offenders, and let Time try: adieu. Exit ORLANDO CELIA       You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate:       we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your       head, and show the world what the bird hath done to 185   her own nest. ROSALIND       O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou       didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But       it cannot be sounded: my affection hath an unknown       bottom, like the bay of Portugal. CELIA 190   Or rather, bottomless, that as fast as you pour       affection in, it runs out. ROSALIND       No, that same wicked bastard of Venus that was begot       of thought, conceived of spleen and born of madness,       that blind rascally boy that abuses every one's eyes 195   because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I       am in love. I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out       of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow and       sigh till he come. CELIA       And I'll sleep. Exeunt Return to top of page ... or ... Go to next scene