TPTT The Comedy of Errors: ACT IV
Introduction
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
SCENE I. A public place.
SCENE II. The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
SCENE III. A public place.
SCENE IV. A street.
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE IV. A street.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
      I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
      To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
      My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
5     And will not lightly trust the messenger
      That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
      I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end

      Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
      How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
10    Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      But where's the money?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
15    To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
Beating him
Officer
      Good sir, be patient.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Officer
20    Good, now, hold thy tongue.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
      your blows.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
25    I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
      ears. I have served him from the hour of my
      nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
      hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
      heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
30    with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
      raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
      it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
      I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
      beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
35    lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
      rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
      rope's-end.'
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
40    Wilt thou still talk?
Beating him
Courtezan
      How say you now? is not your husband mad?
ADRIANA
      His incivility confirms no less.
      Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
      Establish him in his true sense again,
45    And I will please you what you will demand.
LUCIANA
      Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
Courtezan
      Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
PINCH
      Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
Striking him
PINCH
50    I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
      To yield possession to my holy prayers
      And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
      I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
ADRIANA
55    O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      You minion, you, are these your customers?
      Did this companion with the saffron face
      Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
      Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
60    And I denied to enter in my house?
ADRIANA
      O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
      Where would you had remain'd until this time,
      Free from these slanders and this open shame!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
65    Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      And did not she herself revile me there?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
70    Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      And did not I in rage depart from thence?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
      That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
ADRIANA
75    Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?
PINCH
      It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
      And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.
ADRIANA
      Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
80    By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
      But surely master, not a rag of money.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
ADRIANA
      He came to me and I deliver'd it.
LUCIANA
85    And I am witness with her that she did.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      God and the rope-maker bear me witness
      That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
PINCH
      Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
      I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
90    They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
      And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
ADRIANA
      I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      And, gentle master, I received no gold;
95    But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.
ADRIANA
      Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
      And art confederate with a damned pack
      To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
100   But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
      That would behold in me this shameful sport.
Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives
ADRIANA
      O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.
PINCH
      More company! The fiend is strong within him.
LUCIANA
      Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
105   What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
      I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
      To make a rescue?
Officer
      Masters, let him go
      He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
PINCH
110   Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.
They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus
ADRIANA
      What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
      Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
      Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
Officer
      He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
115   The debt he owes will be required of me.
ADRIANA
      I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
      Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
      And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
      Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
120   Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      O most unhappy strumpet!
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Master, I am here entered in bond for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
      Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
      Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
125   cry 'The devil!'
LUCIANA
      God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
ADRIANA
      Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.

Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and Courtezan

      Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
Officer
      One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?
ADRIANA
130   I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
Officer
      Two hundred ducats.
ADRIANA
      Say, how grows it due?
Officer
      Due for a chain your husband had of him.
ADRIANA
      He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
Courtezan
135   When as your husband all in rage to-day
      Came to my house and took away my ring--
      The ring I saw upon his finger now--
      Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
ADRIANA
      It may be so, but I did never see it.
140   Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
      I long to know the truth hereof at large.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and DROMIO of Syracuse
LUCIANA
      God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
ADRIANA
      And come with naked swords.
      Let's call more help to have them bound again.
Officer
145   Away! they'll kill us.
Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
      I see these witches are afraid of swords.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
      She that would be your wife now ran from you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
      Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
      I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
150   Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
      no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
      methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
      the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
      me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
155   turn witch.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
      I will not stay to-night for all the town;
      Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
Exeunt
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