TPTT The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: ACT II
Introduction
ACT I
ACT II
SCENE I. A room in POLONIUS' house.
SCENE II. A room in the castle.
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE II. A room in the castle.
Enter KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and Attendants
KING CLAUDIUS
      Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!
      Moreover that we much did long to see you,
      The need we have to use you did provoke
      Our hasty sending. Something have you heard
5     Of Hamlet's transformation; so call it,
      Sith nor the exterior nor the inward man
      Resembles that it was. What it should be,
      More than his father's death, that thus hath put him
      So much from the understanding of himself,
10    I cannot dream of: I entreat you both,
      That, being of so young days brought up with him,
      And sith so neighbour'd to his youth and havior,
      That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court
      Some little time: so by your companies
15    To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather,
      So much as from occasion you may glean,
      Whether aught, to us unknown, afflicts him thus,
      That, open'd, lies within our remedy.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      Good gentlemen, he hath much talk'd of you;
20    And sure I am two men there are not living
      To whom he more adheres. If it will please you
      To show us so much gentry and good will
      As to expend your time with us awhile,
      For the supply and profit of our hope,
25    Your visitation shall receive such thanks
      As fits a king's remembrance.
ROSENCRANTZ
      Both your majesties
      Might, by the sovereign power you have of us,
      Put your dread pleasures more into command
30    Than to entreaty.
GUILDENSTERN
      But we both obey,
      And here give up ourselves, in the full bent
      To lay our service freely at your feet,
      To be commanded.
KING CLAUDIUS
35    Thanks, Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      Thanks, Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz:
      And I beseech you instantly to visit
      My too much changed son. Go, some of you,
      And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.
GUILDENSTERN
40    Heavens make our presence and our practises
      Pleasant and helpful to him!
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      Ay, amen!
Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and some Attendants
Enter POLONIUS
LORD POLONIUS
      The ambassadors from Norway, my good lord,
      Are joyfully return'd.
KING CLAUDIUS
45    Thou still hast been the father of good news.
LORD POLONIUS
      Have I, my lord? I assure my good liege,
      I hold my duty, as I hold my soul,
      Both to my God and to my gracious king:
      And I do think, or else this brain of mine
50    Hunts not the trail of policy so sure
      As it hath used to do, that I have found
      The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.
KING CLAUDIUS
      O, speak of that; that do I long to hear.
LORD POLONIUS
      Give first admittance to the ambassadors;
55    My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.
KING CLAUDIUS
      Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in.

Exit POLONIUS

      He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found
      The head and source of all your son's distemper.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      I doubt it is no other but the main;
60    His father's death, and our o'erhasty marriage.
KING CLAUDIUS
      Well, we shall sift him.

Re-enter POLONIUS, with VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS

      Welcome, my good friends!
      Say, Voltimand, what from our brother Norway?
VOLTIMAND
      Most fair return of greetings and desires.
65    Upon our first, he sent out to suppress
      His nephew's levies; which to him appear'd
      To be a preparation 'gainst the Polack;
      But, better look'd into, he truly found
      It was against your highness: whereat grieved,
70    That so his sickness, age and impotence
      Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests
      On Fortinbras; which he, in brief, obeys;
      Receives rebuke from Norway, and in fine
      Makes vow before his uncle never more
75    To give the assay of arms against your majesty.
      Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,
      Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee,
      And his commission to employ those soldiers,
      So levied as before, against the Polack:
80    With an entreaty, herein further shown,

Giving a paper

      That it might please you to give quiet pass
      Through your dominions for this enterprise,
      On such regards of safety and allowance
      As therein are set down.
KING CLAUDIUS
85    It likes us well;
      And at our more consider'd time well read,
      Answer, and think upon this business.
      Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour:
      Go to your rest; at night we'll feast together:
90    Most welcome home!
Exeunt VOLTIMAND and CORNELIUS
LORD POLONIUS
      This business is well ended.
      My liege, and madam, to expostulate
      What majesty should be, what duty is,
      Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
95    Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
      Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
      And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
      I will be brief: your noble son is mad:
      Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
100   What is't but to be nothing else but mad?
      But let that go.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      More matter, with less art.
LORD POLONIUS
      Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
      That he is mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity;
105   And pity 'tis 'tis true: a foolish figure;
      But farewell it, for I will use no art.
      Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains
      That we find out the cause of this effect,
      Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
110   For this effect defective comes by cause:
      Thus it remains, and the remainder thus. Perpend.
      I have a daughter--have while she is mine--
      Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,
      Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise.

Reads

115   'To the celestial and my soul's idol, the most
      beautified Ophelia,'--
      That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; 'beautified' is
      a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus:

Reads

      'In her excellent white bosom, these, &c.'
QUEEN GERTRUDE
120   Came this from Hamlet to her?
LORD POLONIUS
      Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.

Reads

      'Doubt thou the stars are fire;
      Doubt that the sun doth move;
      Doubt truth to be a liar;
125   But never doubt I love.
      'O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;
      I have not art to reckon my groans: but that
      I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.
      'Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst
130   this machine is to him, HAMLET.'
      This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me,
      And more above, hath his solicitings,
      As they fell out by time, by means and place,
      All given to mine ear.
KING CLAUDIUS
135   But how hath she
      Received his love?
LORD POLONIUS
      What do you think of me?
KING CLAUDIUS
      As of a man faithful and honourable.
LORD POLONIUS
      I would fain prove so. But what might you think,
140   When I had seen this hot love on the wing--
      As I perceived it, I must tell you that,
      Before my daughter told me--what might you,
      Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,
      If I had play'd the desk or table-book,
145   Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,
      Or look'd upon this love with idle sight;
      What might you think? No, I went round to work,
      And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
      'Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star;
150   This must not be:' and then I precepts gave her,
      That she should lock herself from his resort,
      Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.
      Which done, she took the fruits of my advice;
      And he, repulsed--a short tale to make--
155   Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
      Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
      Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,
      Into the madness wherein now he raves,
      And all we mourn for.
KING CLAUDIUS
160   Do you think 'tis this?
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      It may be, very likely.
LORD POLONIUS
      Hath there been such a time--I'd fain know that--
      That I have positively said 'Tis so,'
      When it proved otherwise?
KING CLAUDIUS
165   Not that I know.
LORD POLONIUS
      Take this from this, if this be otherwise:
      If circumstances lead me, I will find
      Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
170   Within the centre.
KING CLAUDIUS
      How may we try it further?
LORD POLONIUS
      You know, sometimes he walks four hours together
      Here in the lobby.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      So he does indeed.
LORD POLONIUS
175   At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him:
      Be you and I behind an arras then;
      Mark the encounter: if he love her not
      And be not from his reason fall'n thereon,
      Let me be no assistant for a state,
180   But keep a farm and carters.
KING CLAUDIUS
      We will try it.
QUEEN GERTRUDE
      But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.
LORD POLONIUS
      Away, I do beseech you, both away:
      I'll board him presently.

Exeunt KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, and Attendants

Enter HAMLET, reading

185   O, give me leave:
      How does my good Lord Hamlet?
HAMLET
      Well, God-a-mercy.
LORD POLONIUS
      Do you know me, my lord?
HAMLET
      Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.
LORD POLONIUS
190   Not I, my lord.
HAMLET
      Then I would you were so honest a man.
LORD POLONIUS
      Honest, my lord!
HAMLET
      Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be
      one man picked out of ten thousand.
LORD POLONIUS
195   That's very true, my lord.
HAMLET
      For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a
      god kissing carrion,--Have you a daughter?
LORD POLONIUS
      I have, my lord.
HAMLET
      Let her not walk i' the sun: conception is a
200   blessing: but not as your daughter may conceive.
      Friend, look to 't.
LORD POLONIUS
      (Aside) How say you by that? Still harping on my
      daughter: yet he knew me not at first; he said I
      was a fishmonger: he is far gone, far gone: and
205   truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for
      love; very near this. I'll speak to him again.
      What do you read, my lord?
HAMLET
      Words, words, words.
LORD POLONIUS
      What is the matter, my lord?
HAMLET
210   Between who?
LORD POLONIUS
      I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.
HAMLET
      Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue says here
      that old men have grey beards, that their faces are
      wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and
215   plum-tree gum and that they have a plentiful lack of
      wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir,
      though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet
      I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for
      yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab
220   you could go backward.
LORD POLONIUS
      (Aside) Though this be madness, yet there is method
      in 't. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?
HAMLET
      Into my grave.
LORD POLONIUS
      Indeed, that is out o' the air.

Aside

225   How pregnant sometimes his replies are! a happiness
      that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity
      could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will
      leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of
      meeting between him and my daughter.--My honourable
230   lord, I will most humbly take my leave of you.
HAMLET
      You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will
      more willingly part withal: except my life, except
      my life, except my life.
LORD POLONIUS
      Fare you well, my lord.
HAMLET
235   These tedious old fools!
Enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN
LORD POLONIUS
      You go to seek the Lord Hamlet; there he is.
ROSENCRANTZ
      (To POLONIUS) God save you, sir!
Exit POLONIUS
GUILDENSTERN
      My honoured lord!
ROSENCRANTZ
      My most dear lord!
HAMLET
240   My excellent good friends! How dost thou,
      Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?
ROSENCRANTZ
      As the indifferent children of the earth.
GUILDENSTERN
      Happy, in that we are not over-happy;
      On fortune's cap we are not the very button.
HAMLET
245   Nor the soles of her shoe?
ROSENCRANTZ
      Neither, my lord.
HAMLET
      Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of
      her favours?
GUILDENSTERN
      'Faith, her privates we.
HAMLET
250   In the secret parts of fortune? O, most true; she
      is a strumpet. What's the news?
ROSENCRANTZ
      None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.
HAMLET
      Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true.
      Let me question more in particular: what have you,
255   my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune,
      that she sends you to prison hither?
GUILDENSTERN
      Prison, my lord!
HAMLET
      Denmark's a prison.
ROSENCRANTZ
      Then is the world one.
HAMLET
260   A goodly one; in which there are many confines,
      wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.
ROSENCRANTZ
      We think not so, my lord.
HAMLET
      Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing
      either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me
265   it is a prison.
ROSENCRANTZ
      Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too
      narrow for your mind.
HAMLET
      O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count
      myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I
270   have bad dreams.
GUILDENSTERN
      Which dreams indeed are ambition, for the very
      substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.
HAMLET
      A dream itself is but a shadow.
ROSENCRANTZ
      Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a
275   quality that it is but a shadow's shadow.
HAMLET
      Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and
      outstretched heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we
      to the court? for, by my fay, I cannot reason.
ROSENCRANTZ
GUILDENSTERN
      We'll wait upon you.
HAMLET
280   No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest
      of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest
      man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the
      beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?
ROSENCRANTZ
      To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.
HAMLET
285   Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I
      thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are
      too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it
      your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come,
      deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.
GUILDENSTERN
290   What should we say, my lord?
HAMLET
      Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent
      for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks
      which your modesties have not craft enough to colour:
      I know the good king and queen have sent for you.
ROSENCRANTZ
295   To what end, my lord?
HAMLET
      That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by
      the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of
      our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved
      love, and by what more dear a better proposer could
300   charge you withal, be even and direct with me,
      whether you were sent for, or no?
ROSENCRANTZ
      (Aside to GUILDENSTERN) What say you?
HAMLET
      (Aside) Nay, then, I have an eye of you.--If you
      love me, hold not off.
GUILDENSTERN
305   My lord, we were sent for.
HAMLET
      I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation
      prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king
      and queen moult no feather. I have of late--but
      wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all
310   custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily
      with my disposition that this goodly frame, the
      earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most
      excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave
      o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
315   with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to
      me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
      What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason!
      how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how
      express and admirable! in action how like an angel!
320   in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the
      world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me,
      what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not
      me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling
      you seem to say so.
ROSENCRANTZ
325   My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.
HAMLET
      Why did you laugh then, when I said 'man delights not me'?
ROSENCRANTZ
      To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what
      lenten entertainment the players shall receive from
      you: we coted them on the way; and hither are they
330   coming, to offer you service.
HAMLET
      He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty
      shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight
      shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not
      sigh gratis; the humourous man shall end his part
335   in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose
      lungs are tickled o' the sere; and the lady shall
      say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt
      for't. What players are they?
ROSENCRANTZ
      Even those you were wont to take delight in, the
340   tragedians of the city.
HAMLET
      How chances it they travel? their residence, both
      in reputation and profit, was better both ways.
ROSENCRANTZ
      I think their inhibition comes by the means of the
      late innovation.
HAMLET
345   Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was
      in the city? are they so followed?
ROSENCRANTZ
      No, indeed, are they not.
HAMLET
      How comes it? do they grow rusty?
ROSENCRANTZ
      Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace: but
350   there is, sir, an aery of children, little eyases,
      that cry out on the top of question, and are most
      tyrannically clapped for't: these are now the
      fashion, and so berattle the common stages--so they
      call them--that many wearing rapiers are afraid of
355   goose-quills and dare scarce come thither.
HAMLET
      What, are they children? who maintains 'em? how are
      they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no
      longer than they can sing? will they not say
      afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common
360   players--as it is most like, if their means are no
      better--their writers do them wrong, to make them
      exclaim against their own succession?
ROSENCRANTZ
      'Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and
      the nation holds it no sin to tarre them to
365   controversy: there was, for a while, no money bid
      for argument, unless the poet and the player went to
      cuffs in the question.
HAMLET
      Is't possible?
GUILDENSTERN
      O, there has been much throwing about of brains.
HAMLET
370   Do the boys carry it away?
ROSENCRANTZ
      Ay, that they do, my lord; Hercules and his load too.
HAMLET
      It is not very strange; for mine uncle is king of
      Denmark, and those that would make mows at him while
      my father lived, give twenty, forty, fifty, an
375   hundred ducats a-piece for his picture in little.
      'Sblood, there is something in this more than
      natural, if philosophy could find it out.
Flourish of trumpets within
GUILDENSTERN
      There are the players.
HAMLET
      Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands,
380   come then: the appurtenance of welcome is fashion
      and ceremony: let me comply with you in this garb,
      lest my extent to the players, which, I tell you,
      must show fairly outward, should more appear like
      entertainment than yours. You are welcome: but my
385   uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
GUILDENSTERN
      In what, my dear lord?
HAMLET
      I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is
      southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.
Enter POLONIUS
LORD POLONIUS
      Well be with you, gentlemen!
HAMLET
390   Hark you, Guildenstern; and you too: at each ear a
      hearer: that great baby you see there is not yet
      out of his swaddling-clouts.
ROSENCRANTZ
      Happily he's the second time come to them; for they
      say an old man is twice a child.
HAMLET
395   I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players;
      mark it. You say right, sir: o' Monday morning;
      'twas so indeed.
LORD POLONIUS
      My lord, I have news to tell you.
HAMLET
      My lord, I have news to tell you.
400   When Roscius was an actor in Rome,--
LORD POLONIUS
      The actors are come hither, my lord.
HAMLET
      Buz, buz!
LORD POLONIUS
      Upon mine honour,--
HAMLET
      Then came each actor on his ass,--
LORD POLONIUS
405   The best actors in the world, either for tragedy,
      comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical,
      historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-
      comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable, or
      poem unlimited: Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor
410   Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the
      liberty, these are the only men.
HAMLET
      O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!
LORD POLONIUS
      What a treasure had he, my lord?
HAMLET
      Why,
415   'One fair daughter and no more,
      The which he loved passing well.'
LORD POLONIUS
      (Aside) Still on my daughter.
HAMLET
      Am I not i' the right, old Jephthah?
LORD POLONIUS
      If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter
420   that I love passing well.
HAMLET
      Nay, that follows not.
LORD POLONIUS
      What follows, then, my lord?
HAMLET
      Why,
      'As by lot, God wot,'
425   and then, you know,
      'It came to pass, as most like it was,'--
      the first row of the pious chanson will show you
      more; for look, where my abridgement comes.

Enter four or five Players

      You are welcome, masters; welcome, all. I am glad
430   to see thee well. Welcome, good friends. O, my old
      friend! thy face is valenced since I saw thee last:
      comest thou to beard me in Denmark? What, my young
      lady and mistress! By'r lady, your ladyship is
      nearer to heaven than when I saw you last, by the
435   altitude of a chopine. Pray God, your voice, like
      apiece of uncurrent gold, be not cracked within the
      ring. Masters, you are all welcome. We'll e'en
      to't like French falconers, fly at any thing we see:
      we'll have a speech straight: come, give us a taste
440   of your quality; come, a passionate speech.
First Player
      What speech, my lord?
HAMLET