The Second Part of Henry the Fourth: ACT III , SCENE II. Gloucestershire. Before SHALLOW'S house.

The Second Part of Henry the Fourth: ACT III


	Introduction

	INDUCTION

	ACT I

	ACT II

	ACT III

		SCENE I. Westminster. The palace.

		SCENE II. Gloucestershire. Before SHALLOW'S house.

	ACT IV

	ACT V

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SCENE II. Gloucestershire. Before SHALLOW'S house.

Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, a Servant or two with them

SHALLOW

      Come on, come on, come on, sir; give me your hand,
      sir, give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by
      the rood! And how doth my good cousin Silence?

SILENCE

Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

SHALLOW

5 And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? and your
fairest daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?

SILENCE

Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!

SHALLOW

By yea and nay, sir, I dare say my cousin William is
become a good scholar: he is at Oxford still, is he not?

SILENCE

10 Indeed, sir, to my cost.

SHALLOW

      A' must, then, to the inns o' court shortly. I was
      once of Clement's Inn, where I think they will
      talk of mad Shallow yet.

SILENCE

You were called 'lusty Shallow' then, cousin.

SHALLOW

15    By the mass, I was called any thing; and I would
      have done any thing indeed too, and roundly too.
      There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire,
      and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and
      Will Squele, a Cotswold man; you had not four such
20    swinge-bucklers in all the inns o' court again: and
      I may say to you, we knew where the bona-robas were
      and had the best of them all at commandment. Then
      was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and page to
      Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

SILENCE

25 This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?

SHALLOW

      The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break
      Skogan's head at the court-gate, when a' was a
      crack not thus high: and the very same day did I
      fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer,
30    behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I
      have spent! and to see how many of my old
      acquaintance are dead!

SILENCE

We shall all follow, cousin.

SHADOW

      Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure: death,
35    as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall
      die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair?

SILENCE

By my troth, I was not there.

SHALLOW

Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living
yet?

SILENCE

40 Dead, sir.

SHALLOW

      Jesu, Jesu, dead! a' drew a good bow; and dead! a'
      shot a fine shoot: John a Gaunt loved him well, and
      betted much money on his head. Dead! a' would have
      clapped i' the clout at twelve score; and carried
45    you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a
      half, that it would have done a man's heart good to
      see. How a score of ewes now?

SILENCE

Thereafter as they be: a score of good ewes may be
worth ten pounds.

SHALLOW

50 And is old Double dead?

SILENCE

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff's men, as I think.

Enter BARDOLPH and one with him

BARDOLPH

Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I beseech you, which
is Justice Shallow?

SHALLOW

      I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this
55    county, and one of the king's justices of the peace:
      What is your good pleasure with me?

BARDOLPH

      My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain,
      Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and
      a most gallant leader.

SHALLOW

60    He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword
      man. How doth the good knight? may I ask how my
      lady his wife doth?

BARDOLPH

Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than
with a wife.

SHALLOW

65    It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said
      indeed too. Better accommodated! it is good; yea,
      indeed, is it: good phrases are surely, and ever
      were, very commendable. Accommodated! it comes of
      'accommodo' very good; a good phrase.

BARDOLPH

70    Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase call
      you it? by this good day, I know not the phrase;
      but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a
      soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good
      command, by heaven. Accommodated; that is, when a
75    man is, as they say, accommodated; or when a man is,
      being, whereby a' may be thought to be accommodated;
      which is an excellent thing.

SHALLOW

It is very just.

Enter FALSTAFF

      Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good
80    hand, give me your worship's good hand: by my
      troth, you like well and bear your years very well:
      welcome, good Sir John.

FALSTAFF

I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert
Shallow: Master Surecard, as I think?

SHALLOW

85 No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.

FALSTAFF

Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of
the peace.

SILENCE

Your good-worship is welcome.

FALSTAFF

Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you
90 provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

SHALLOW

Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

FALSTAFF

Let me see them, I beseech you.

SHALLOW

      Where's the roll? where's the roll? where's the
      roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so:
95    yea, marry, sir: Ralph Mouldy! Let them appear as
      I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me
      see; where is Mouldy?

MOULDY

Here, an't please you.

SHALLOW

What think you, Sir John? a good-limbed fellow;
100 young, strong, and of good friends.

FALSTAFF

Is thy name Mouldy?

MOULDY

Yea, an't please you.

FALSTAFF

'Tis the more time thou wert used.

SHALLOW

      Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that
105   are mouldy lack use: very singular good! in faith,
      well said, Sir John, very well said.

FALSTAFF

Prick him.

MOULDY

      I was pricked well enough before, an you could have
      let me alone: my old dame will be undone now for
110   one to do her husbandry and her drudgery: you need
      not to have pricked me; there are other men fitter
      to go out than I.

FALSTAFF

Go to: peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is
time you were spent.

MOULDY

115 Spent!

SHALLOW

      Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: know you where
      you are? For the other, Sir John: let me see:
      Simon Shadow!

FALSTAFF

Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under: he's like
120 to be a cold soldier.

SHALLOW

Where's Shadow?

SHADOW

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

Shadow, whose son art thou?

SHADOW

My mother's son, sir.

FALSTAFF

125   Thy mother's son! like enough, and thy father's
      shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow of
      the male: it is often so, indeed; but much of the
      father's substance!

SHALLOW

Do you like him, Sir John?

FALSTAFF

130 Shadow will serve for summer; prick him, for we have
a number of shadows to fill up the muster-book.

SHALLOW

Thomas Wart!

FALSTAFF

Where's he?

WART

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

135 Is thy name Wart?

WART

Yea, sir.

FALSTAFF

Thou art a very ragged wart.

SHALLOW

Shall I prick him down, Sir John?

FALSTAFF

      It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon
140   his back and the whole frame stands upon pins:
      prick him no more.

SHALLOW

Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it: I
commend you well. Francis Feeble!

FEEBLE

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

145 What trade art thou, Feeble?

FEEBLE

A woman's tailor, sir.

SHALLOW

Shall I prick him, sir?

FALSTAFF

      You may: but if he had been a man's tailor, he'ld
      ha' pricked you. Wilt thou make as many holes in
150   an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?

FEEBLE

I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.

FALSTAFF

      Well said, good woman's tailor! well said,
      courageous Feeble! thou wilt be as valiant as the
      wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the
155   woman's tailor: well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.

FEEBLE

I would Wart might have gone, sir.

FALSTAFF

      I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst
      mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him
      to a private soldier that is the leader of so many
160   thousands: let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.

FEEBLE

It shall suffice, sir.

FALSTAFF

I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?

SHALLOW

Peter Bullcalf o' the green!

FALSTAFF

Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.

BULLCALF

165 Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

'Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf
till he roar again.

BULLCALF

O Lord! good my lord captain,--

FALSTAFF

What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?

BULLCALF

170 O Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.

FALSTAFF

What disease hast thou?

BULLCALF

      A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught
      with ringing in the king's affairs upon his
      coronation-day, sir.

FALSTAFF

175   Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we wilt
      have away thy cold; and I will take such order that
      my friends shall ring for thee. Is here all?

SHALLOW

      Here is two more called than your number, you must
      have but four here, sir: and so, I pray you, go in
180   with me to dinner.

FALSTAFF

Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry
dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night
in the windmill in Saint George's field?

FALSTAFF

185 No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.

SHALLOW

Ha! 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?

FALSTAFF

She lives, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

She never could away with me.

FALSTAFF

Never, never; she would always say she could not
190 abide Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She
was then a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?

FALSTAFF

Old, old, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

      Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old;
195   certain she's old; and had Robin Nightwork by old
      Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn.

SILENCE

That's fifty-five year ago.

SHALLOW

Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that
this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?

FALSTAFF

200 We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

      That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith,
      Sir John, we have: our watch-word was 'Hem boys!'
      Come, let's to dinner; come, let's to dinner:
      Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and Justices

BULLCALF

205   Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend;
      and here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns
      for you. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be
      hanged, sir, as go: and yet, for mine own part, sir,
      I do not care; but rather, because I am unwilling,
210   and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with
      my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own
      part, so much.

BARDOLPH

Go to; stand aside.

MOULDY

      And, good master corporal captain, for my old
215   dame's sake, stand my friend: she has nobody to do
      any thing about her when I am gone; and she is old,
      and cannot help herself: You shall have forty, sir.

BARDOLPH

Go to; stand aside.

FEEBLE

      By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once: we
220   owe God a death: I'll ne'er bear a base mind:
      an't be my destiny, so; an't be not, so: no man is
      too good to serve's prince; and let it go which way
      it will, he that dies this year is quit for the next.

BARDOLPH

Well said; thou'rt a good fellow.

FEEBLE

225 Faith, I'll bear no base mind.

Re-enter FALSTAFF and the Justices

FALSTAFF

Come, sir, which men shall I have?

SHALLOW

Four of which you please.

BARDOLPH

Sir, a word with you: I have three pound to free
Mouldy and Bullcalf.

FALSTAFF

230 Go to; well.

SHALLOW

Come, Sir John, which four will you have?

FALSTAFF

Do you choose for me.

SHALLOW

Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble and Shadow.

FALSTAFF

      Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home
235   till you are past service: and for your part,
      Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it: I will none of you.

SHALLOW

Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are
your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the best.

FALSTAFF

      Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a
240   man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature,
      bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the
      spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart; you see what a
      ragged appearance it is; a' shall charge you and
      discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's
245   hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets
      on the brewer's bucket. And this same half-faced
      fellow, Shadow; give me this man: he presents no
      mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim
      level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat;
250   how swiftly will this Feeble the woman's tailor run
      off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the
      great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus.

FALSTAFF

      Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go
255   to: very good, exceeding good. O, give me always a
      little, lean, old, chapt, bald shot. Well said, i'
      faith, Wart; thou'rt a good scab: hold, there's a
      tester for thee.

SHALLOW

      He is not his craft's master; he doth not do it
260   right. I remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at
      Clement's Inn--I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's
      show,--there was a little quiver fellow, and a'
      would manage you his piece thus; and a' would about
      and about, and come you in and come you in: 'rah,
265   tah, tah,' would a' say; 'bounce' would a' say; and
      away again would a' go, and again would a' come: I
      shall ne'er see such a fellow.

FALSTAFF

      These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God
      keep you, Master Silence: I will not use many words
270   with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both: I thank
      you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give
      the soldiers coats.

SHALLOW

      Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your
      affairs! God send us peace! At your return visit
275   our house; let our old acquaintance be renewed;
      peradventure I will with ye to the court.

FALSTAFF

'Fore God, I would you would, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

FALSTAFF

Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.

Exeunt Justices

280 On, Bardolph; lead the men away.

Exeunt BARDOLPH, Recruits, &c

      As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do
      see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how
      subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This
      same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to
285   me of the wildness of his youth, and the feats he
      hath done about Turnbull Street: and every third
      word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's
      tribute. I do remember him at Clement's Inn like a
      man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when a'
290   was naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked
      radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it
      with a knife: a' was so forlorn, that his
      dimensions to any thick sight were invincible: a'
      was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a
295   monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: a' came
      ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung those
      tunes to the overscutched huswives that he heard the
      carmen whistle, and swear they were his fancies or
      his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger
300   become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John a
      Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and
      I'll be sworn a' ne'er saw him but once in the
      Tilt-yard; and then he burst his head for crowding
      among the marshal's men. I saw it, and told John a
305   Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might have
      thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the
      case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a
      court: and now has he land and beefs. Well, I'll
      be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall
310   go hard but I will make him a philosopher's two
      stones to me: if the young dace be a bait for the
      old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I
      may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end.

Exit

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