TPTT The Life of Henry the Fifth: ACT V
Introduction
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
PROLOGUE.
SCENE I. France. The English camp.
SCENE II. France. A royal palace.
EPILOGUE
About the Play
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SCENE I. France. The English camp.
Enter FLUELLEN and GOWER
GOWER
      Nay, that's right; but why wear you your leek today?
      Saint Davy's day is past.
FLUELLEN
      There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in
      all things: I will tell you, asse my friend,
5     Captain Gower: the rascally, scald, beggarly,
      lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and
      yourself and all the world know to be no petter
      than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is
      come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday,
10    look you, and bid me eat my leek: it was in place
      where I could not breed no contention with him; but
      I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I see
      him once again, and then I will tell him a little
      piece of my desires.
Enter PISTOL
GOWER
15    Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.
FLUELLEN
      'Tis no matter for his swellings nor his
      turkey-cocks. God pless you, Aunchient Pistol! you
      scurvy, lousy knave, God pless you!
PISTOL
      Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
20    To have me fold up Parca's fatal web?
      Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of leek.
FLUELLEN
      I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my
      desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat,
      look you, this leek: because, look you, you do not
25    love it, nor your affections and your appetites and
      your digestions doo's not agree with it, I would
      desire you to eat it.
PISTOL
      Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.
FLUELLEN
      There is one goat for you.

Strikes him

30    Will you be so good, scauld knave, as eat it?
PISTOL
      Base Trojan, thou shalt die.
FLUELLEN
      You say very true, scauld knave, when God's will is:
      I will desire you to live in the mean time, and eat
      your victuals: come, there is sauce for it.

Strikes him

35    You called me yesterday mountain-squire; but I will
      make you to-day a squire of low degree. I pray you,
      fall to: if you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.
GOWER
      Enough, captain: you have astonished him.
FLUELLEN
      I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or
40    I will peat his pate four days. Bite, I pray you; it
      is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.
PISTOL
      Must I bite?
FLUELLEN
      Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question
      too, and ambiguities.
PISTOL
45    By this leek, I will most horribly revenge: I eat
      and eat, I swear--
FLUELLEN
      Eat, I pray you: will you have some more sauce to
      your leek? there is not enough leek to swear by.
PISTOL
      Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see I eat.
FLUELLEN
50    Much good do you, scauld knave, heartily. Nay, pray
      you, throw none away; the skin is good for your
      broken coxcomb. When you take occasions to see leeks
      hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em; that is all.
PISTOL
      Good.
FLUELLEN
55    Ay, leeks is good: hold you, there is a groat to
      heal your pate.
PISTOL
      Me a groat!
FLUELLEN
      Yes, verily and in truth, you shall take it; or I
      have another leek in my pocket, which you shall eat.
PISTOL
60    I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.
FLUELLEN
      If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in cudgels:
      you shall be a woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but
      cudgels. God b' wi' you, and keep you, and heal your pate.
Exit
PISTOL
      All hell shall stir for this.
GOWER
65    Go, go; you are a counterfeit cowardly knave. Will
      you mock at an ancient tradition, begun upon an
      honourable respect, and worn as a memorable trophy of
      predeceased valour and dare not avouch in your deeds
      any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and
70    galling at this gentleman twice or thrice. You
      thought, because he could not speak English in the
      native garb, he could not therefore handle an
      English cudgel: you find it otherwise; and
      henceforth let a Welsh correction teach you a good
75    English condition. Fare ye well.
Exit
PISTOL
      Doth Fortune play the huswife with me now?
      News have I, that my Nell is dead i' the spital
      Of malady of France;
      And there my rendezvous is quite cut off.
80    Old I do wax; and from my weary limbs
      Honour is cudgelled. Well, bawd I'll turn,
      And something lean to cutpurse of quick hand.
      To England will I steal, and there I'll steal:
      And patches will I get unto these cudgell'd scars,
85    And swear I got them in the Gallia wars.
Exit
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