TPTT The Famous History of the Life of Henry the Eighth: ACT I
Introduction
THE PROLOGUE
ACT I
SCENE I. London. An ante-chamber in the palace.
SCENE II. The same. The council-chamber.
SCENE III. An ante-chamber in the palace.
SCENE IV. A Hall in York Place.
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE III. An ante-chamber in the palace.
Enter Chamberlain and SANDS
Chamberlain
      Is't possible the spells of France should juggle
      Men into such strange mysteries?
SANDS
      New customs,
      Though they be never so ridiculous,
5     Nay, let 'em be unmanly, yet are follow'd.
Chamberlain
      As far as I see, all the good our English
      Have got by the late voyage is but merely
      A fit or two o' the face; but they are shrewd ones;
      For when they hold 'em, you would swear directly
10    Their very noses had been counsellors
      To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.
SANDS
      They have all new legs, and lame ones: one would take it,
      That never saw 'em pace before, the spavin
      Or springhalt reign'd among 'em.
Chamberlain
15    Death! my lord,
      Their clothes are after such a pagan cut too,
      That, sure, they've worn out Christendom.

Enter LOVELL

      How now!
      What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
LOVELL
20    Faith, my lord,
      I hear of none, but the new proclamation
      That's clapp'd upon the court-gate.
Chamberlain
      What is't for?
LOVELL
      The reformation of our travell'd gallants,
25    That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.
Chamberlain
      I'm glad 'tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs
      To think an English courtier may be wise,
      And never see the Louvre.
LOVELL
      They must either,
30    For so run the conditions, leave those remnants
      Of fool and feather that they got in France,
      With all their honourable point of ignorance
      Pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks,
      Abusing better men than they can be,
35    Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean
      The faith they have in tennis, and tall stockings,
      Short blister'd breeches, and those types of travel,
      And understand again like honest men;
      Or pack to their old playfellows: there, I take it,
40    They may, 'cum privilegio,' wear away
      The lag end of their lewdness and be laugh'd at.
SANDS
      'Tis time to give 'em physic, their diseases
      Are grown so catching.
Chamberlain
      What a loss our ladies
45    Will have of these trim vanities!
LOVELL
      Ay, marry,
      There will be woe indeed, lords: the sly whoresons
      Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies;
      A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.
SANDS
50    The devil fiddle 'em! I am glad they are going,
      For, sure, there's no converting of 'em: now
      An honest country lord, as I am, beaten
      A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong
      And have an hour of hearing; and, by'r lady,
55    Held current music too.
Chamberlain
      Well said, Lord Sands;
      Your colt's tooth is not cast yet.
SANDS
      No, my lord;
      Nor shall not, while I have a stump.
Chamberlain
60    Sir Thomas,
      Whither were you a-going?
LOVELL
      To the cardinal's:
      Your lordship is a guest too.
Chamberlain
      O, 'tis true:
65    This night he makes a supper, and a great one,
      To many lords and ladies; there will be
      The beauty of this kingdom, I'll assure you.
LOVELL
      That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,
      A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us;
70    His dews fall every where.
Chamberlain
      No doubt he's noble;
      He had a black mouth that said other of him.
SANDS
      He may, my lord; has wherewithal: in him
      Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:
75    Men of his way should be most liberal;
      They are set here for examples.
Chamberlain
      True, they are so:
      But few now give so great ones. My barge stays;
      Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,
80    We shall be late else; which I would not be,
      For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford
      This night to be comptrollers.
SANDS
      I am your lordship's.
Exeunt
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