TPTT Love's Labour's Lost: ACT I
Introduction
ACT I
SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.
SCENE II. The same.
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.
Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE and DUMAIN
FERDINAND
      Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
      Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
      And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
      When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
5     The endeavor of this present breath may buy
      That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
      And make us heirs of all eternity.
      Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
      That war against your own affections
10    And the huge army of the world's desires,--
      Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
      Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
      Our court shall be a little Academe,
      Still and contemplative in living art.
15    You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
      Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
      My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
      That are recorded in this schedule here:
      Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
20    That his own hand may strike his honour down
      That violates the smallest branch herein:
      If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
      Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
LONGAVILLE
      I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
25    The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
      Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
      Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
DUMAIN
      My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
      The grosser manner of these world's delights
30    He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
      To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
      With all these living in philosophy.
BIRON
      I can but say their protestation over;
      So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
35    That is, to live and study here three years.
      But there are other strict observances;
      As, not to see a woman in that term,
      Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
      And one day in a week to touch no food
40    And but one meal on every day beside,
      The which I hope is not enrolled there;
      And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
      And not be seen to wink of all the day--
      When I was wont to think no harm all night
45    And make a dark night too of half the day--
      Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
      O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
      Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
FERDINAND
      Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
BIRON
50    Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
      I only swore to study with your grace
      And stay here in your court for three years' space.
LONGAVILLE
      You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
BIRON
      By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
55    What is the end of study? let me know.
FERDINAND
      Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
BIRON
      Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
FERDINAND
      Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
BIRON
      Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
60    To know the thing I am forbid to know:
      As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
      When I to feast expressly am forbid;
      Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
      When mistresses from common sense are hid;
65    Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
      Study to break it and not break my troth.
      If study's gain be thus and this be so,
      Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
      Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
FERDINAND
70    These be the stops that hinder study quite
      And train our intellects to vain delight.
BIRON
      Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
      Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
      As, painfully to pore upon a book
75    To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
      Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
      Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
      So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
      Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
80    Study me how to please the eye indeed
      By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
      Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
      And give him light that it was blinded by.
      Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
85    That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
      Small have continual plodders ever won
      Save base authority from others' books
      These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
      That give a name to every fixed star
90    Have no more profit of their shining nights
      Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
      Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
      And every godfather can give a name.
FERDINAND
      How well he's read, to reason against reading!
DUMAIN
95    Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
LONGAVILLE
      He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
BIRON
      The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
DUMAIN
      How follows that?
BIRON
      Fit in his place and time.
DUMAIN
100   In reason nothing.
BIRON
      Something then in rhyme.
FERDINAND
      Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
      That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
BIRON
      Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
105   Before the birds have any cause to sing?
      Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
      At Christmas I no more desire a rose
      Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
      But like of each thing that in season grows.
110   So you, to study now it is too late,
      Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
FERDINAND
      Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
BIRON
      No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
      And though I have for barbarism spoke more
115   Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
      Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
      And bide the penance of each three years' day.
      Give me the paper; let me read the same;
      And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
FERDINAND
120   How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
BIRON
      (Reads) 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
      mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
LONGAVILLE
      Four days ago.
BIRON
      Let's see the penalty.

Reads

125   'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
LONGAVILLE
      Marry, that did I.
BIRON
      Sweet lord, and why?
LONGAVILLE
      To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
BIRON
      A dangerous law against gentility!

Reads

130   'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
      within the term of three years, he shall endure such
      public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
      This article, my liege, yourself must break;
      For well you know here comes in embassy
135   The French king's daughter with yourself to speak--
      A maid of grace and complete majesty--
      About surrender up of Aquitaine
      To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
      Therefore this article is made in vain,
140   Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
FERDINAND
      What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
BIRON
      So study evermore is overshot:
      While it doth study to have what it would
      It doth forget to do the thing it should,
145   And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
      'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
FERDINAND
      We must of force dispense with this decree;
      She must lie here on mere necessity.
BIRON
      Necessity will make us all forsworn
150   Three thousand times within this three years' space;
      For every man with his affects is born,
      Not by might master'd but by special grace:
      If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
      I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
155   So to the laws at large I write my name:

Subscribes

      And he that breaks them in the least degree
      Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
      Suggestions are to other as to me;
      But I believe, although I seem so loath,
160   I am the last that will last keep his oath.
      But is there no quick recreation granted?
FERDINAND
      Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
      With a refined traveller of Spain;
      A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
165   That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
      One whom the music of his own vain tongue
      Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
      A man of complements, whom right and wrong
      Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
170   This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
      For interim to our studies shall relate
      In high-born words the worth of many a knight
      From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
      How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
175   But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
      And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
BIRON
      Armado is a most illustrious wight,
      A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
LONGAVILLE
      Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
180   And so to study, three years is but short.
Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD
DULL
      Which is the duke's own person?
BIRON
      This, fellow: what wouldst?
DULL
      I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
      grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
185   in flesh and blood.
BIRON
      This is he.
DULL
      Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villany
      abroad: this letter will tell you more.
COSTARD
      Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.
FERDINAND
190   A letter from the magnificent Armado.
BIRON
      How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
LONGAVILLE
      A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
BIRON
      To hear? or forbear laughing?
LONGAVILLE
      To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
195   forbear both.
BIRON
      Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
      climb in the merriness.
COSTARD
      The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
      The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
BIRON
200   In what manner?
COSTARD
      In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
      I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
      her upon the form, and taken following her into the
      park; which, put together, is in manner and form
205   following. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is the
      manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--
      in some form.
BIRON
      For the following, sir?
COSTARD
      As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
210   the right!
FERDINAND
      Will you hear this letter with attention?
BIRON
      As we would hear an oracle.
COSTARD
      Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
215   sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
      and body's fostering patron.'
COSTARD
      Not a word of Costard yet.
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'So it is,'--
COSTARD
      It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
220   telling true, but so.
FERDINAND
      Peace!
COSTARD
      Be to me and every man that dares not fight!
FERDINAND
      No words!
COSTARD
      Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.
FERDINAND
225   (Reads) 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
      melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
      to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
      air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
      walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
230   beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
      to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
      for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
      I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
      for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
235   that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
      from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
      here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
      but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
      and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
240   knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
      swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'--
COSTARD
      Me?
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'--
COSTARD
      Me?
FERDINAND
245   (Reads) 'that shallow vassal,'--
COSTARD
      Still me?
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'--
COSTARD
      O, me!
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
250   established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
      which with,--O, with--but with this I passion to say
      wherewith,--
COSTARD
      With a wench.
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
255   female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
      woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
      have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
      punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
      Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
260   estimation.'
DULL
      'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
FERDINAND
      (Reads) 'For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel
      called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
      swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
265   and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
      her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
      and heart-burning heat of duty.
      DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
BIRON
      This is not so well as I looked for, but the best
270   that ever I heard.
FERDINAND
      Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
      you to this?
COSTARD
      Sir, I confess the wench.
FERDINAND
      Did you hear the proclamation?
COSTARD
275   I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
      the marking of it.
FERDINAND
      It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
      with a wench.
COSTARD
      I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
FERDINAND
280   Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
COSTARD
      This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
FERDINAND
      It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
COSTARD
      If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
FERDINAND
      This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
COSTARD
285   This maid will serve my turn, sir.
FERDINAND
      Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
      a week with bran and water.
COSTARD
      I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
FERDINAND
      And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
290   My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
      And go we, lords, to put in practise that
      Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
Exeunt FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN
BIRON
      I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
      These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
295   Sirrah, come on.
COSTARD
      I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
      taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
      girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
      prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
300   till then, sit thee down, sorrow!
Exeunt
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