Love's Labour's Lost: ACT IV , SCENE II. The same.

Love's Labour's Lost: ACT IV


	Introduction

	ACT I

	ACT II

	ACT III

	ACT IV

		SCENE I. The same.

		SCENE II. The same.

		SCENE III. The same.

	ACT V

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SCENE II. The same.

Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL

SIR NATHANIEL

Very reverend sport, truly; and done in the testimony
of a good conscience.

HOLOFERNES

      The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe
      as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in
5     the ear of caelo, the sky, the welkin, the heaven;
      and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,
      the soil, the land, the earth.

SIR NATHANIEL

      Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly
      varied, like a scholar at the least: but, sir, I
10    assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.

HOLOFERNES

Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.

DULL

'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.

HOLOFERNES

      Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of
      insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of
15    explication; facere, as it were, replication, or
      rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his
      inclination, after his undressed, unpolished,
      uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather,
      unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to
20    insert again my haud credo for a deer.

DULL

I said the deer was not a haud credo; twas a pricket.

HOLOFERNES

Twice-sod simplicity, his coctus!
O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!

SIR NATHANIEL

      Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred
25    in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he
      hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not
      replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in
      the duller parts:
      And such barren plants are set before us, that we
30    thankful should be,
      Which we of taste and feeling are, for those parts that
      do fructify in us more than he.
      For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,
      So were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school:
35    But omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind,
      Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.

DULL

      You two are book-men: can you tell me by your wit
      What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five
      weeks old as yet?

HOLOFERNES

40 Dictynna, goodman Dull; Dictynna, goodman Dull.

DULL

What is Dictynna?

SIR NATHANIEL

A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.

HOLOFERNES

      The moon was a month old when Adam was no more,
      And raught not to five weeks when he came to
45    five-score.
      The allusion holds in the exchange.

DULL

'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.

HOLOFERNES

God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds
in the exchange.

DULL

50    And I say, the pollusion holds in the exchange; for
      the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside
      that, 'twas a pricket that the princess killed.

HOLOFERNES

      Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph
      on the death of the deer? And, to humour the
55    ignorant, call I the deer the princess killed a pricket.

SIR NATHANIEL

Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge; so it shall
please you to abrogate scurrility.

HOLOFERNES

      I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.
      The preyful princess pierced and prick'd a pretty
60    pleasing pricket;
      Some say a sore; but not a sore, till now made
      sore with shooting.
      The dogs did yell: put L to sore, then sorel jumps
      from thicket;
65    Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.
      If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores
      one sorel.
      Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L.

SIR NATHANIEL

A rare talent!

DULL

70 (Aside) If a talent be a claw, look how he claws
him with a talent.

HOLOFERNES

      This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a
      foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
      shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions,
75    revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of
      memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and
      delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the
      gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am
      thankful for it.

SIR NATHANIEL

80    Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my
      parishioners; for their sons are well tutored by
      you, and their daughters profit very greatly under
      you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.

HOLOFERNES

      Mehercle, if their sons be ingenuous, they shall
85    want no instruction; if their daughters be capable,
      I will put it to them: but vir sapit qui pauca
      loquitur; a soul feminine saluteth us.

Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD

JAQUENETTA

God give you good morrow, master Parson.

HOLOFERNES

Master Parson, quasi pers-on. An if one should be
90 pierced, which is the one?

COSTARD

Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.

HOLOFERNES

      Piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a
      tuft of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough
      for a swine: 'tis pretty; it is well.

JAQUENETTA

95    Good master Parson, be so good as read me this
      letter: it was given me by Costard, and sent me
      from Don Armado: I beseech you, read it.

HOLOFERNES

      Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
      Ruminat,--and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan! I
100   may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice;
      Venetia, Venetia,
      Chi non ti vede non ti pretia.
      Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! who understandeth thee
      not, loves thee not. Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.
105   Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or rather,
      as Horace says in his--What, my soul, verses?

SIR NATHANIEL

Ay, sir, and very learned.

HOLOFERNES

Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege, domine.

SIR NATHANIEL

110   If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love?
      Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vow'd!
      Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove:
      Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like
      osiers bow'd.
115   Study his bias leaves and makes his book thine eyes,
      Where all those pleasures live that art would
      comprehend:
      If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;
      Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,
120   All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;
      Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire:
      Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,
      Which not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.
      Celestial as thou art, O, pardon, love, this wrong,
125   That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.

HOLOFERNES

      You find not the apostraphas, and so miss the
      accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are
      only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy,
      facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret.
130   Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso,
      but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of
      fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing:
      so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper,
      the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,
135   was this directed to you?

JAQUENETTA

Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange
queen's lords.

HOLOFERNES

      I will overglance the superscript: 'To the
      snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady
140   Rosaline.' I will look again on the intellect of
      the letter, for the nomination of the party writing
      to the person written unto: 'Your ladyship's in all
      desired employment, BIRON.' Sir Nathaniel, this
      Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here
145   he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger
      queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of
      progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my
      sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the
      king: it may concern much. Stay not thy
150   compliment; I forgive thy duty; adieu.

JAQUENETTA

Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!

COSTARD

Have with thee, my girl.

Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA

SIR NATHANIEL

Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very
religiously; and, as a certain father saith,--

HOLOFERNES

155   Sir tell me not of the father; I do fear colourable
      colours. But to return to the verses: did they
      please you, Sir Nathaniel?

SIR NATHANIEL

Marvellous well for the pen.

HOLOFERNES

      I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil
160   of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please
      you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my
      privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid
      child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I
      will prove those verses to be very unlearned,
165   neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I
      beseech your society.

SIR NATHANIEL

And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is
the happiness of life.

HOLOFERNES

And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.

To DULL

170   Sir, I do invite you too; you shall not
      say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at
      their game, and we will to our recreation.

Exeunt

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