TPTT The Merry Wives of Windsor: ACT IV
Introduction
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
SCENE I. A street.
SCENE II. A room in FORD'S house.
SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn.
SCENE IV. A room in FORD'S house.
SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn.
SCENE VI. Another room in the Garter Inn.
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE I. A street.
Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM PAGE
MISTRESS PAGE
      Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
      Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,
      truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
      into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE
5     I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young
      man here to school. Look, where his master comes;
      'tis a playing-day, I see.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS

      How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?
SIR HUGH EVANS
      No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
10    Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE
      Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in
      the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some
      questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.
MISTRESS PAGE
15    Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
      master, be not afraid.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM PAGE
      Two.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
      Truly, I thought there had been one number more,
20    because they say, ''Od's nouns.'
SIR HUGH EVANS
      Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE
      Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
      Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.
25    What is 'lapis,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE
      A stone.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      And what is 'a stone,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE
      A pebble.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.
WILLIAM PAGE
30    Lapis.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      That is a good William. What is he, William, that
      does lend articles?
WILLIAM PAGE
      Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus
      declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
SIR HUGH EVANS
35    Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:
      genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM PAGE
      Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      I pray you, have your remembrance, child,
      accusative, hung, hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
40    'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative
      case, William?
WILLIAM PAGE
      O,--vocativo, O.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      Remember, William; focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
45    And that's a good root.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      'Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE
      Peace!
SIR HUGH EVANS
      What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM PAGE
      Genitive case!
SIR HUGH EVANS
50    Ay.
WILLIAM PAGE
      Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
      Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name
      her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      For shame, 'oman.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
55    You do ill to teach the child such words: he
      teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
      fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!
SIR HUGH EVANS
      'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
      understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
60    genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
      I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE
      Prithee, hold thy peace.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
WILLIAM PAGE
      Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH EVANS
65    It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'
      your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be
      preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.
MISTRESS PAGE
      He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
SIR HUGH EVANS
      He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE
70    Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

Exit SIR HUGH EVANS

      Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
Exeunt
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