The History of Troilus and Cressida: ACT I , SCENE II. The Same. A street.

The History of Troilus and Cressida: ACT I


	Introduction

	PROLOGUE

	ACT I

		SCENE I. Troy. Before Priam's palace.

		SCENE II. The Same. A street.

		SCENE III. The Grecian camp. Before Agamemnon's tent.

	ACT II

	ACT III

	ACT IV

	ACT V

	About the Play

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SCENE II. The Same. A street.

Enter CRESSIDA and ALEXANDER

CRESSIDA

Who were those went by?

ALEXANDER

Queen Hecuba and Helen.

CRESSIDA

And whither go they?

ALEXANDER

      Up to the eastern tower,
5     Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
      To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
      Is, as a virtue, fix'd, to-day was moved:
      He chid Andromache and struck his armourer,
      And, like as there were husbandry in war,
10    Before the sun rose he was harness'd light,
      And to the field goes he; where every flower
      Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw
      In Hector's wrath.

CRESSIDA

What was his cause of anger?

ALEXANDER

15    The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
      A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
      They call him Ajax.

CRESSIDA

Good; and what of him?

ALEXANDER

They say he is a very man per se,
20 And stands alone.

CRESSIDA

So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.

ALEXANDER

      This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their
      particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion,
      churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man
25    into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his
      valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with
      discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he
      hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he
      carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without
30    cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the
      joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint
      that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use,
      or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight.

CRESSIDA

But how should this man, that makes
35 me smile, make Hector angry?

ALEXANDER

      They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and
      struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath
      ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.

CRESSIDA

Who comes here?

ALEXANDER

40 Madam, your uncle Pandarus.

Enter PANDARUS

CRESSIDA

Hector's a gallant man.

ALEXANDER

As may be in the world, lady.

PANDARUS

What's that? what's that?

CRESSIDA

Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.

PANDARUS

45    Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of?
      Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When
      were you at Ilium?

CRESSIDA

This morning, uncle.

PANDARUS

      What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector
50    armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not
      up, was she?

CRESSIDA

Hector was gone, but Helen was not up.

PANDARUS

Even so: Hector was stirring early.

CRESSIDA

That were we talking of, and of his anger.

PANDARUS

55 Was he angry?

CRESSIDA

So he says here.

PANDARUS

      True, he was so: I know the cause too: he'll lay
      about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there's
      Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take
60    heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too.

CRESSIDA

What, is he angry too?

PANDARUS

Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.

CRESSIDA

O Jupiter! there's no comparison.

PANDARUS

What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a
65 man if you see him?

CRESSIDA

Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.

PANDARUS

Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.

CRESSIDA

Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.

PANDARUS

No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.

CRESSIDA

70 'Tis just to each of them; he is himself.

PANDARUS

Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.

CRESSIDA

So he is.

PANDARUS

Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.

CRESSIDA

He is not Hector.

PANDARUS

75    Himself! no, he's not himself: would a' were
      himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend
      or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were
      in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.

CRESSIDA

Excuse me.

PANDARUS

80 He is elder.

CRESSIDA

Pardon me, pardon me.

PANDARUS

      Th' other's not come to't; you shall tell me another
      tale, when th' other's come to't. Hector shall not
      have his wit this year.

CRESSIDA

85 He shall not need it, if he have his own.

PANDARUS

Nor his qualities.

CRESSIDA

No matter.

PANDARUS

Nor his beauty.

CRESSIDA

'Twould not become him; his own's better.

PANDARUS

90    You have no judgment, niece: Helen
      herself swore th' other day, that Troilus, for
      a brown favour--for so 'tis, I must confess,--
      not brown neither,--

CRESSIDA

No, but brown.

PANDARUS

95 'Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.

CRESSIDA

To say the truth, true and not true.

PANDARUS

She praised his complexion above Paris.

CRESSIDA

Why, Paris hath colour enough.

PANDARUS

So he has.

CRESSIDA

100   Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised
      him above, his complexion is higher than his; he
      having colour enough, and the other higher, is too
      flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as
      lief Helen's golden tongue had commended Troilus for
105   a copper nose.

PANDARUS

I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris.

CRESSIDA

Then she's a merry Greek indeed.

PANDARUS

      Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th' other
      day into the compassed window,--and, you know, he
110   has not past three or four hairs on his chin,--

CRESSIDA

Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his
particulars therein to a total.

PANDARUS

Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within
three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.

CRESSIDA

115 Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?

PANDARUS

But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came
and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin--

CRESSIDA

Juno have mercy! how came it cloven?

PANDARUS

Why, you know 'tis dimpled: I think his smiling
120 becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.

CRESSIDA

O, he smiles valiantly.

PANDARUS

Does he not?

CRESSIDA

O yes, an 'twere a cloud in autumn.

PANDARUS

Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen
125 loves Troilus,--

CRESSIDA

Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll
prove it so.

PANDARUS

Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem
an addle egg.

CRESSIDA

130 If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle
head, you would eat chickens i' the shell.

PANDARUS

      I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled
      his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I
      must needs confess,--

CRESSIDA

135 Without the rack.

PANDARUS

And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.

CRESSIDA

Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.

PANDARUS

But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed
that her eyes ran o'er.

CRESSIDA

140 With mill-stones.

PANDARUS

And Cassandra laughed.

CRESSIDA

But there was more temperate fire under the pot of
her eyes: did her eyes run o'er too?

PANDARUS

And Hector laughed.

CRESSIDA

145 At what was all this laughing?

PANDARUS

Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin.

CRESSIDA

An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed
too.

PANDARUS

They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer.

CRESSIDA

150 What was his answer?

PANDARUS

Quoth she, 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on your
chin, and one of them is white.

CRESSIDA

This is her question.

PANDARUS

      That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and
155   fifty hairs' quoth he, 'and one white: that white
      hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.'
      'Jupiter!' quoth she, 'which of these hairs is Paris,
      my husband? 'The forked one,' quoth he, 'pluck't
      out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing!
160   and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the
      rest so laughed, that it passed.

CRESSIDA

So let it now; for it has been while going by.

PANDARUS

Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on't.

CRESSIDA

So I do.

PANDARUS

165 I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, an 'twere
a man born in April.

CRESSIDA

And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle
against May.

A retreat sounded

PANDARUS

      Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we
170   stand up here, and see them as they pass toward
      Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida.

CRESSIDA

At your pleasure.

PANDARUS

      Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may
      see most bravely: I'll tell you them all by their
175   names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.

CRESSIDA

Speak not so loud.

AENEAS passes

PANDARUS

      That's AEneas: is not that a brave man? he's one of
      the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark
      Troilus; you shall see anon.

ANTENOR passes

CRESSIDA

180 Who's that?

PANDARUS

      That's Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you;
      and he's a man good enough, he's one o' the soundest
      judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person.
      When comes Troilus? I'll show you Troilus anon: if
185   he see me, you shall see him nod at me.

CRESSIDA

Will he give you the nod?

PANDARUS

You shall see.

CRESSIDA

If he do, the rich shall have more.

HECTOR passes

PANDARUS

      That's Hector, that, that, look you, that; there's a
190   fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There's a brave man,
      niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there's
      a countenance! is't not a brave man?

CRESSIDA

O, a brave man!

PANDARUS

      Is a' not? it does a man's heart good. Look you
195   what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do
      you see? look you there: there's no jesting;
      there's laying on, take't off who will, as they say:
      there be hacks!

CRESSIDA

Be those with swords?

PANDARUS

200   Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come
      to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's
      heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.

PARIS passes

      Look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too,
      is't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came
205   hurt home to-day? he's not hurt: why, this will do
      Helen's heart good now, ha! Would I could see
      Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.

HELENUS passes

CRESSIDA

Who's that?

PANDARUS

That's Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That's
210 Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That's Helenus.

CRESSIDA

Can Helenus fight, uncle?

PANDARUS

      Helenus? no. Yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I
      marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the
      people cry 'Troilus'? Helenus is a priest.

CRESSIDA

215 What sneaking fellow comes yonder?

TROILUS passes

PANDARUS

      Where? yonder? that's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus!
      there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the
      prince of chivalry!

CRESSIDA

Peace, for shame, peace!

PANDARUS

220   Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon
      him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and
      his helm more hacked than Hector's, and how he looks,
      and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne'er saw
      three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way!
225   Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess,
      he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris?
      Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to
      change, would give an eye to boot.

CRESSIDA

Here come more.

Forces pass

PANDARUS

230   Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran!
      porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the
      eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look: the eagles
      are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had
      rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and
235   all Greece.

CRESSIDA

There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.

PANDARUS

Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.

CRESSIDA

Well, well.

PANDARUS

      'Well, well!' why, have you any discretion? have
240   you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not
      birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood,
      learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality,
      and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?

CRESSIDA

Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date
245 in the pie, for then the man's date's out.

PANDARUS

You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you
lie.

CRESSIDA

      Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to
      defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine
250   honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to
      defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a
      thousand watches.

PANDARUS

Say one of your watches.

CRESSIDA

      Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the
255   chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would
      not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took
      the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's
      past watching.

PANDARUS

You are such another!

Enter Troilus's Boy

Boy

260 Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.

PANDARUS

Where?

Boy

At your own house; there he unarms him.

PANDARUS

Good boy, tell him I come.

Exit boy

I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.

CRESSIDA

265 Adieu, uncle.

PANDARUS

I'll be with you, niece, by and by.

CRESSIDA

To bring, uncle?

PANDARUS

Ay, a token from Troilus.

CRESSIDA

By the same token, you are a bawd.

Exit PANDARUS

270   Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice,
      He offers in another's enterprise;
      But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
      Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be;
      Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
275   Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
      That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
      Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
      That she was never yet that ever knew
      Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
280   Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
      Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech:
      Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,
      Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.

Exeunt

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