The History of Troilus and Cressida: ACT V
Introduction PROLOGUE ACT I ACT II ACT III ACT IV ACT V SCENE I. The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent. SCENE II. The same. Before Calchas' tent. SCENE III. Troy. Before Priam's palace. SCENE IV. Plains between Troy and the Grecian camp. SCENE V. Another part of the plains. SCENE VI. Another part of the plains. SCENE VII. Another part of the plains. SCENE VIII. Another part of the plains. SCENE IX. Another part of the plains. SCENE X. Another part of the plains. About the Play Feedback			Search: All the plays Hamlet Coriolanus Julius Caesar King Lear Macbeth Othello Romeo and Juliet Richard II Richard III Titus Andronicus Antony and Cleopatra Timon of Athens Henry IV Part 1 Henry IV Part 2 Henry the Fifth Henry VI Part 1 Henry VI Part 2 Henry VI Part 3 Henry VIII King John Pericles Troilus and Cressida All's Well... As You Like It The Comedy of Errors Cymbeline A Midsummer... Love's Labour's Lost Measure for Measure The Merry Wives... Much Ado about Nothing The Merchant of Venice Twelfth Night The Taming of... The Tempest The Two Gentlemen... The Winter's Tale    for: SCENE I. The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS ACHILLES       I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night,       Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.       Patroclus, let us feast him to the height. PATROCLUS       Here comes Thersites. Enter THERSITES ACHILLES 5     How now, thou core of envy!       Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? THERSITES       Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol       of idiot worshippers, here's a letter for thee. ACHILLES       From whence, fragment? THERSITES 10    Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. PATROCLUS       Who keeps the tent now? THERSITES       The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. PATROCLUS       Well said, adversity! and what need these tricks? THERSITES       Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk: 15    thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet. PATROCLUS       Male varlet, you rogue! what's that? THERSITES       Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases       of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs,       loads o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold 20    palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing       lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas,       limekilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the       rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take       again such preposterous discoveries! PATROCLUS 25    Why thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest       thou to curse thus? THERSITES       Do I curse thee? PATROCLUS       Why no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson       indistinguishable cur, no. THERSITES 30    No! why art thou then exasperate, thou idle       immaterial skein of sleave-silk, thou green sarcenet       flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's       purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered       with such waterflies, diminutives of nature! PATROCLUS 35    Out, gall! THERSITES       Finch-egg! ACHILLES       My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite       From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.       Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba, 40    A token from her daughter, my fair love,       Both taxing me and gaging me to keep       An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:       Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay;       My major vow lies here, this I'll obey. 45    Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent:       This night in banqueting must all be spent.       Away, Patroclus! Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS THERSITES       With too much blood and too little brain, these two       may run mad; but, if with too much brain and too 50    little blood they do, I'll be a curer of madmen.       Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough and one       that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as       earwax: and the goodly transformation of Jupiter       there, his brother, the bull,--the primitive statue, 55    and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty       shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's       leg,--to what form but that he is, should wit larded       with malice and malice forced with wit turn him to?       To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to 60    an ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a       dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an       owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would       not care; but to be Menelaus, I would conspire       against destiny. Ask me not, what I would be, if I 65    were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse       of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus! Hey-day!       spirits and fires! Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMEDES, with lights AGAMEMNON       We go wrong, we go wrong. AJAX       No, yonder 'tis; 70    There, where we see the lights. HECTOR       I trouble you. AJAX       No, not a whit. ULYSSES       Here comes himself to guide you. Re-enter ACHILLES ACHILLES       Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all. AGAMEMNON 75    So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.       Ajax commands the guard to tend on you. HECTOR       Thanks and good night to the Greeks' general. MENELAUS       Good night, my lord. HECTOR       Good night, sweet lord Menelaus. THERSITES 80    Sweet draught: 'sweet' quoth 'a! sweet sink,       sweet sewer. ACHILLES       Good night and welcome, both at once, to those       That go or tarry. AGAMEMNON       Good night. Exeunt AGAMEMNON and MENELAUS ACHILLES 85    Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed,       Keep Hector company an hour or two. DIOMEDES       I cannot, lord; I have important business,       The tide whereof is now. Good night, great Hector. HECTOR       Give me your hand. ULYSSES 90    (Aside to TROILUS) Follow his torch; he goes to       Calchas' tent:       I'll keep you company. TROILUS       Sweet sir, you honour me. HECTOR       And so, good night. Exit DIOMEDES; ULYSSES and TROILUS following ACHILLES 95    Come, come, enter my tent. Exeunt ACHILLES, HECTOR, AJAX, and NESTOR THERSITES       That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most       unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers       than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend       his mouth, and promise, like Brabbler the hound: 100   but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it       is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun       borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his       word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than       not to dog him: they say he keeps a Trojan 105   drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll       after. Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! Exit Return to top of page ... or ... Go to next scene