TPTT The Two Gentlemen of Verona: ACT II
Introduction
ACT I
ACT II
SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE's palace.
SCENE II. Verona. JULIA'S house.
SCENE III. The same. A street.
SCENE IV. Milan. The DUKE's palace.
SCENE V. The same. A street.
SCENE VI. The same. The DUKE'S palace.
SCENE VII. Verona. JULIA'S house.
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
About the Play
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SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE's palace.
Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
SPEED
      Sir, your glove.
VALENTINE
      Not mine; my gloves are on.
SPEED
      Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
VALENTINE
      Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
5     Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
      Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
SPEED
      Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
VALENTINE
      How now, sirrah?
SPEED
      She is not within hearing, sir.
VALENTINE
10    Why, sir, who bade you call her?
SPEED
      Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
VALENTINE
      Well, you'll still be too forward.
SPEED
      And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
VALENTINE
      Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
SPEED
15    She that your worship loves?
VALENTINE
      Why, how know you that I am in love?
SPEED
      Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
      learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
      like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
20    robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
      the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
      lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
      buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
      diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
25    speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
      wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
      walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
      fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
      looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
30    are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
      on you, I can hardly think you my master.
VALENTINE
      Are all these things perceived in me?
SPEED
      They are all perceived without ye.
VALENTINE
      Without me? they cannot.
SPEED
35    Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
      were so simple, none else would: but you are so
      without these follies, that these follies are within
      you and shine through you like the water in an
      urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
40    physician to comment on your malady.
VALENTINE
      But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
SPEED
      She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
VALENTINE
      Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.
SPEED
      Why, sir, I know her not.
VALENTINE
45    Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
      knowest her not?
SPEED
      Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
VALENTINE
      Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
SPEED
      Sir, I know that well enough.
VALENTINE
50    What dost thou know?
SPEED
      That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
VALENTINE
      I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
SPEED
      That's because the one is painted and the other out
      of all count.
VALENTINE
55    How painted? and how out of count?
SPEED
      Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
      man counts of her beauty.
VALENTINE
      How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
SPEED
      You never saw her since she was deformed.
VALENTINE
60    How long hath she been deformed?
SPEED
      Ever since you loved her.
VALENTINE
      I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
      see her beautiful.
SPEED
      If you love her, you cannot see her.
VALENTINE
65    Why?
SPEED
      Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
      or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
      have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
      ungartered!
VALENTINE
70    What should I see then?
SPEED
      Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
      for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
      hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
VALENTINE
      Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
75    morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
SPEED
      True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
      you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
      bolder to chide you for yours.
VALENTINE
      In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
SPEED
80    I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
VALENTINE
      Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
      one she loves.
SPEED
      And have you?
VALENTINE
      I have.
SPEED
85    Are they not lamely writ?
VALENTINE
      No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
      here she comes.
SPEED
      (Aside) O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
      Now will he interpret to her.
Enter SILVIA
VALENTINE
90    Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
SPEED
      (Aside) O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.
SILVIA
      Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
SPEED
      (Aside) He should give her interest and she gives it him.
VALENTINE
      As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
95    Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
      Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
      But for my duty to your ladyship.
SILVIA
      I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.
VALENTINE
      Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
100   For being ignorant to whom it goes
      I writ at random, very doubtfully.
SILVIA
      Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
VALENTINE
      No, madam; so it stead you, I will write
      Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet--
SILVIA
105   A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
      And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
      And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
      Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
SPEED
      (Aside) And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
VALENTINE
110   What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
SILVIA
      Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
      But since unwillingly, take them again.
      Nay, take them.
VALENTINE
      Madam, they are for you.
SILVIA
115   Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
      But I will none of them; they are for you;
      I would have had them writ more movingly.
VALENTINE
      Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
SILVIA
      And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,
120   And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
VALENTINE
      If it please me, madam, what then?
SILVIA
      Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
      And so, good morrow, servant.
Exit
SPEED
      O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
125   As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
      My master sues to her, and she hath
      taught her suitor,
      He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
      O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
130   That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
      the letter?
VALENTINE
      How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
SPEED
      Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
VALENTINE
      To do what?
SPEED
135   To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.
VALENTINE
      To whom?
SPEED
      To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
VALENTINE
      What figure?
SPEED
      By a letter, I should say.
VALENTINE
140   Why, she hath not writ to me?
SPEED
      What need she, when she hath made you write to
      yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
VALENTINE
      No, believe me.
SPEED
      No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
145   her earnest?
VALENTINE
      She gave me none, except an angry word.
SPEED
      Why, she hath given you a letter.
VALENTINE
      That's the letter I writ to her friend.
SPEED
      And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
VALENTINE
150   I would it were no worse.
SPEED
      I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
      For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
      Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
      Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
155   Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
      All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
      Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
VALENTINE
      I have dined.
SPEED
      Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
160   feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
      victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
      your mistress; be moved, be moved.
Exeunt
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